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How To Get Your Teen Out of Bed in the Morning

  • By Molly Allen
  • 31 Aug, 2015

Why is it that kids will wake up bright and early at 6AM on Saturday, ready to watch their favorite TV show, but during the week, getting them out of bed and ready for school is like trying to get the Earth to change its rotation? That has been puzzling parents since Adam and Eve tried to get Cain and Abel out of bed!

Part of the problem is that teens and tweens need about nine hours of sleep each night and if they don't go to bed early enough, chances are they’ll wake up in the middle of a deep sleep phase, which can make them grumpy, groggy and grouchy. Pushing their bedtime back an hour can help, but if it doesn’t, here are some additional ways to wake them up.

Use a wake up light

There are many different types of wake up lights available, but one that grows progressively brighter works best because it allows for a smooth transition from sleeping to waking. It also lets you choose different sounds, an alarm tone or your kid's favorite music.

Her phone, her alarm clock

Every smart phone has an alarm clock feature that allows you to wake up to a selection of sounds or music. Utilizing this feature for your teen or tween can be a godsend.

Or…

Use the Clocky Alarm Clock

This mischievous little clock is on wheels. When the alarm goes off, it rolls off the table and travels around the room. So, it forces your teen to physically get out of bed to stop the noise. Parents often enjoy the entertainment value of watching their teen chase it around the room!

Teaching responsibility and consequences

Parents know it is important to help a child achieve success and to let them deal with the consequences of poor choices. For instance, if your child doesn’t get up in time, s/he must deal with the outcomes. Dr. Molly Allen suggests talking about this together. “A good move is to talk to the teen at another time of the day (not in the rush of the morning),” she says, and “enlisting their help and ideas about what might be a good strategy to get them up in the morning. Some of their ideas are going to be outlandish and just an excuse to put the responsibility back on the parents. However,” Allen continues, “some of the kids' notions may play exactly into what that teen's needs and style may be. This may be as simple as setting two or three separate alarms - with the first one set to the earliest time possible in case she wants to do her hair and makeup to a T, or in case he wants an extra workout, or maybe the teen wants to try to finish up an assignment before school. The last alarm time set should be the smallest margin to get them out the door and to school in one piece.”

Enlist the help of Fido or Kitty

Sometimes the old school method works best. Sending the dog or cat in the bedroom to wake up your teen or tween can be a great way to start the morning. Who doesn’t like waking up to dog kisses? Or a cat purring or rubbing against you?

Smell them awake

The smell of hot coffee brewing, bacon cooking or warm cinnamon rolls fresh from the oven may help encourage your teen to get out of bed. You can also place bowls of aromatic oils or potpourri, like peppermint, which is supposed to increase alertness, nearby.

Rule out other issues

On the other hand, there could be underlying issues that are inhibiting your child from getting out of bed. Teens who are depressed or anxious frequently find it difficult to get out of bed, preferring the safety of the covers. Kids who are abusing alcohol or drugs also tend to hide under the covers. If you think your son or daughter is experiencing any of these issues, it is important to talk with a therapist.

Don't fuel the drama

Remember, your child’s behavior should be dealt with calmly. Don’t take it personally; it’s not about you, it’s about them. When kids are crabby and sleepy they tend to lash out. Stand back. Breathe. Don’t engage or defend yourself; it will only make matters worse. Dr. Bruce Nystrom recommends getting to bed and getting up at the same time each day. “It gets the whole house into a routine,” he says, adding, “This time of year can be challenging if the kids have been allowed to stay up late and sleep late. Correct that by gradually getting everyone to bed a little earlier each night and waking up a little earlier each morning.”

Don't talk too much

When an adolescent is heavy-eyed in the morning, adults tend to react by continually focusing on the teen’s sleepiness, slowness to get ready, and general unpreparedness. You must remember that sleepy teens and tweens are not any more capable of holding an intelligent conversation than you are when you’ve just climbed out of bed. Instead of pointing out what you consider foolish behavior at the breakfast table, wait for a better time when you’re all calm. And more awake.

Wake up his brain

Kids have to eat, and breakfast is the most important meal of the day. It doesn’t have to be a sit-down meal with bacon and eggs; it can be a five-minute jump start with a protein shake, fruit or a granola bar.

Let go

There are times when you have to relinquish control and let the consequences happen. When your teen just won’t make the effort to get out of bed, you have to let her sleep through the alarm and learn the hard way. But discuss this with your teen in advance and offer logical consequences for their actions: e.g. if the teen does not get out of bed on her own, then the consequences are that she may be late to school, or have to walk. According to Dr. Allen, “Parents can also chime in with suggestions about what to get done the night before, so there isn't a scramble in the morning - such as a shower, backpack loaded with homework, lunch packed in the fridge, a breakfast to grab, cell phone charged up overnight, etc. Reducing screen time at night is also a good idea” she adds, “since that kind of light keeps the brain 'awake' longer. That includes turning off the TV and cell phone. It is important to remember that since the teen years include at least a basic amount of rebellion and an attempt to assert independence, it is likely that whatever strategy the family works up, the teen will probably try to use some 'push back' to assert their control over themselves and their world. Choose your battles wisely, and remember it is their education, and your role is to help facilitate them having access to school and a healthy lifestyle.”

 

SOURCES: Drs. Molly Allen and Bruce Nystrom, AllParenting.com, Huffington Post

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