‘Tis the season to be jolly, right? Not necessarily. The facts are, many people feel lonely, sad, anxious or depressed at this time of year. Why? There are lots of explanations, but here are the main reasons for the holiday blues:

• Pressure to feel merry: Not everyone feels delightful when holiday decorations appear in stores and lights go up on houses. And the difference between how you actually feel and what you think you’re supposed to feel can cause guilt and confusion.
• Remembrances of holidays past: Consciously or unconsciously, you have a mental record of previous holidays and you could be feeling unhappy because a past holiday was unhappy. Plus, if your current life circumstances are less than jolly you may long for the happy holidays you once enjoyed.
• Reminders of loved ones lost: Holidays are a time for reflection and that means remembering family members and friends who have passed away. The subsequent sense of loss you feel can spoil even the happiest of celebrations.
• Loneliness: If you don’t have a significant other, or you’re away from family and friends, this can be a particularly painful time of year.
• Financial hardship: The economy is affecting everyone and getting the holiday blues because you can’t spend as much money on gifts, decorations, and the like as you once did, can make you feel sad and inadequate.
• In search of sunlight: Many people are prone to seasonal affective disorder or SAD. (For more, read our blog article on SAD) Your holiday blues will only be exacerbated by limited sunshine.

Do any of these reasons for feeling bummed sound familiar? Don’t despair. Here are some ways for you to effectively beat those holiday blues:

• It’s OK to feel what you feel: If you don’t feel as happy as you think you should, don’t fight it. Forcing feelings that aren’t there will only make matters worse.
• Seek sun and endorphins: If you’re feeling blue, try to get at least 20 minutes of sunlight each day. And don’t forget the sunscreen. This isn’t always easy during the winter, but do your best. If you can’t get sunshine outside, open the drapes or blinds in your house. Exercise is also key, since both sunlight and exercise help fight any chemical causes for your holiday funk.
• Help someone else: Volunteer your time in whatever way you can or spend time with an elderly relative or friend. Instead of feeling glum you’ll start experiencing what the holidays are really about: Giving to others.
• Create your own traditions: Contrary to popular opinion, there are no rules for how to spend the holidays. And creating your own traditions and memories can be very uplifting. If you don’t have family, share the holidays with good friends. If going to a religious service and singing holiday songs with others makes you feel good, do it.
• Stay busy and avoid unstructured time: If you know the holidays are difficult for you, try to fill your calendar with fun events. Too much time spent alone may bring you to an old, familiar place: down.

“It is important at the holidays to focus on what is truly important for your celebration,” says Dr. Molly Allen. ”That might mean a treasured childhood memory, such as taking car rides to look at the Christmas lights, helping mom or dad bake cookies, participating in the pageant at church, shopping for a gift for a relative, or bursting with anticipation to open your own gifts. Chances are that the best memories are not about getting the expensive gizmo under the tree, but the fondest things we recall are the connections we make with others – such as the thought a loved one put into finding the type of gift you would love, or your own efforts to make the kind of fudge or candy your grandma or your uncle really likes.  It’s about the quiet moments, such as lighting the candles at the end of Christmas Eve service, when ‘Silent Night’ is being sung, or the funny and affectionate times – such as taking bets on which tacky sweater your aunt will wear this year.  For persons of other faiths, it may be gathering with family at Hanukah to remember that hope and faith trump everything else, the children being taught the lessons of dignity and community from Kwanza, or the focus on the winter solstice bringing the promise of gradually brighter days in the spring.”

Dr. Allen also advises staying realistic. “If we focus on what is truly important – connecting with those we love and remembering that faith is key, it makes it less important to drive ourselves crazy with self-pity when our lives don’t match up to some distorted standard – such as a frantic TV or radio commercial for electronics, jewelry, or some food that Madison Avenue ad people are trying to convince you to consume – or else your holiday will not be ‘perfect’,” says Dr. Allen. “Focusing on the key elements of the season help us let go of the impossible comparisons we make when our lives don’t match up to the Christmas letter we get from our old college classmates, or when we feel left out because acquaintances’ postings on Facebook seem to imply that everyone else is having a good time without us.”

But the most important thing you can do to beat those blues is to literally count your blessings. Take stock of all of the positives in your life. You’ll be surprised how blessed you really are. And if the holiday blues just won’t go away, get help. Talk with a psychologist.

Source: Dr. Molly Allen, Psych Central