It’s tough not to focus on food at this time of the year and to refrain from overindulging.  We’ve all experienced that tried and true New Year’s resolution of vowing to eat better and lose weight next year, right? But why has this time of year, a time when we’re supposed to be thankful and remember our blessings, become the season of eating two helpings more than our stomachs can hold and going back for more? According to Dr. Molly Allen, part of it has to do with programming. “We’re biologically programmed to enjoy eating, as it releases ‘feel good’ chemicals in our brain,” she says.  “From very early on in life we associate soothing ourselves with eating.  As we develop through life we hopefully gain more coping skills to deal with stress, instead of using just one fallback technique of running to food to deal with anger, disappointment, happiness, etc.  At the holidays, there is an abundance of treats that we often do not consider as part of our diet throughout the year.  Oftentimes we feel a jumble of drives and impulses to indulge in these treats, including ‘Our family has a big turkey feast only once a year, and I love _______ (fill in the blank of your favorite holiday food – mashed potatoes, stuffing, pumpkin pie, dark meat, etc), so I’m going to get thirds and fourths of all this great food.’  Or, ‘Christmas cookies, yeah! I’ll eat my fill while I can!’  With the weather getting colder, and schedules getting hectic, it is easy to skip the walk outside, schlepping to the gym or workout center, etc.  We don’t burn off those excess calories, and then our pants get too tight–setting up a vicious circle of guilt, soothe with food, rinse and repeat.”

So how do we survive the holidays and still enjoy ourselves? Dr. Allen believes that “it is far more productive to identify those foods that we love, let ourselves have some of the treats, and consider them as just that – a treat, and not a diet staple.  Savvy holiday buffet visitors will circle the food options, identify what they love, get a reasonable helping, and then remind themselves that they have gotten their ‘treat’, and it’s time to resume the healthy diet of lean protein, vegetables, fruit, and reasonable servings of fat, sweets, etc.”  Dr. Allen cautions, “It’s not realistic to swear off of the foods you love for the rest of your life, because you are setting yourself up to ‘binge’ later on those treats.” Dr. Allen notes that some holiday eating is about self-control. “I also do not encourage patients to over-use humor or claim ‘defeat’, she says. “That is, if somebody I am working with in therapy or a consultation tells me that they “can’t” control their diet or habits because they are ‘powerless’ over chocolates, or fatty foods, or some other high calorie treats, I challenge them that no changes will take place in their relationship with food until they adopt a more mature outlook of admitting to weakness, but still taking responsibility for self-control.”

So what do you do when Aunt Martha insists you try her only-during-the-holidays cookies? Says Dr. Allen, “When it comes to peer pressure, it is important to remember that you are master of your own body, and that no amount of shaming, guilt-trip, desire to please, etc, is worth wrecking your plans and desire to take charge of your own health.” And she continues,  “If you have a relative who whines and gives you puppy dog eyes unless you taste their ‘Christmas-only fudge extravaganza’, let yourself do that if you desire – take a taste.  That does not mean that you have to polish off the whole plate.  If we teach others how we intend to be treated by reinforcing our boundaries, eventually they have no choice but to respect our preferences.  Remember, you wouldn’t try to shame a two month old baby to polish off a platter of spicy fajitas just because you slaved over cooking them all afternoon, so don’t cave to pressure from a well-meaning (or otherwise) cook who tries to get you to violate your dietary needs/plans.”

Next week: More on how to curb your appetite enthusiasm during the holidays.