FYI Building Your Resilience
Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress – such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors. Resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not have. It involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that anyone can learn and develop. Developing your resilience is a personal journey. An approach to building resilience that works well for one person might not work for another. People use varying strategies. Some variation may reflect cultural differences. For example, an individual’s culture might have an impact on whether and how he or she connects with others and communicates feelings.
The following pointers may be helpful to consider in developing your own strategy for
building resilience.
Make connections. Good relationships with close
family members, friends or others are important.
Accepting help and support from those who
care about you and will listen to you strengthens
resilience. Some people find that being active in
civic groups, faith-based organizations or other local
groups provides social support and can help with
reclaiming hope.
Assisting others in their time of need
can also benefit the helper.
Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems.
You can’t change the fact that highly stressful events
happen, but you can change how you interpret and
respond to these events. Try looking beyond the
present to how future circumstances may be a little
better. Note any subtle ways in which you might
already feel somewhat better as you deal with difficult
situations.
Accept that change is a part of living. Certain goals
may no longer be attainable as a result of adverse
situations. Accepting circumstances that cannot be
changed can help you focus on circumstances that
you can alter.
Move toward your goals. Think about possible
solutions to the problems you are facing and
decide what realistic goals you want to achieve. Do
something regularly – even if it seems like a small
accomplishment – that enables you to move forward.
Focus away from tasks that seem unachievable.
Instead, ask yourself, “What’s one thing I know I can
accomplish today that helps me move in the direction
I want to go?”
Many people find it helpful to track their progress by
making a record of any accomplishment that moves
them toward their goals. It is important to spend a
moment reflecting on the fact that you are taking
action and achieving what you believe you need to do.
Take decisive actions. Act on adverse situations as
much as you can. Take decisive actions, rather than
detaching from problems and stresses and wishing
they would just go away. Being active instead of passive
helps people more effectively manage adversity.
Find positive ways to reduce stress and negative
feelings.
Following a stressful event, many people feel
they need to turn away from the negative thoughts
and feelings they are experiencing. Positive distractions
such as exercising, going to a movie or reading a book
can help renew you so you can re-focus on meeting
challenges in your life. Avoid numbing your unpleasant
feelings with alcohol or drugs.
Look for opportunities for self-discovery. People
often learn something about themselves and may
find that they have grown in some respect as a result
of their struggle with loss. Many people who have
experienced tragedies and hardship have reported
better relationships, greater sense of strength even
while feeling vulnerable, increased sense of selfworth,
a more developed spirituality and heightened
appreciation for life.
Nurture a positive view of yourself. Developing
confidence in your ability to solve problems and
trusting your instincts helps build resilience.
A Publication of the American Psychological Association
